Dan Andrews goes to Gimlet
The former premier offers an endorsement that helps no one.
Easter is virtually upon us, would you believe?
I really hope you've enjoyed Rampart's diverse range of stories this week. I opened proceedings with the latest unbelievable revelations from Luke Sayers' defamation case, then came Susan Owens' piece on a new member scandal titillating the Melbourne Club.
I was delighted to receive this contribution from Susan, a freelance journalist whose work I've long savoured. She was writing for The Australian Financial Review when I started there in 2011 and soon after, we had a terrific dinner in Paris with our mutual friend, the late luxury publicist Mark Patrick. I hope she'll write more for us.
Next was an update on Federation Asset Management from Andrew McKean, who last month I employed as Rampart's first staff writer. Andy previously worked for Financial Standard and has an eagle eye for all things investment, superannuation and financial advice. In his first piece, he compares Federation's dodgy fee structure to its peers and reveals the mea culpa from legend in his own lunchbox, Cameron Brownjohn OAM, for his irresponsible Sendle investment.
On Wednesday, the AFR published my monthly column, out a few days earlier than usual to make the Easter bumper print edition. I've gone again on the effective takeover of Magellan Financial Group by arriviste investment bank, Barrenjoey.
Joe Aston
As I wrote last month (before I knew the half of it), this deal has it all. Barrenjoey's founders are to be admired for what they've achieved in five years flat, yet do themselves no favours with the quite unnecessary sleights of hand they are now seeking to perpetrate on Magellan's shareholders.
Because of the transaction's structure as a placement rather than a scheme of arrangement, the disclosure of Barrenjoey's financials is extraordinarily substandard. Frankly, my column barely scrapes the surface of the long list of chart crimes contained in Magellan's March 2 investor presentation.
Cheaply handing control to Barrenjoey may well be a superior destiny for Magellan shareholders than gradually disintegrating as a standalone active manager, but that doesn't mean that disclosure principles are disposable. Not that shareholders seem to particularly care! They are blinded by the light bouncing off so many Order of Australia pins around the Magellan board table. Shareholders don't look at the fine print because it's all blurry at that point.
Finally, I must say I enjoyed The Age's terrific feature last weekend on Melbourne (and Brisbane) restaurateur Andrew McConnell.
I'm an unabashed fan of McConnell, so I really have to feel for him. Somehow, he's found himself triangulated in a blood feud between his competitor Chris Lucas (of Maison Bâtard fame) and Victoria's former premier Daniel Andrews. In a hilariously passive-aggressive shot at Lucas, Andrews told The Age that "Andrew McConnell is pure Melbourne: high quality and relentlessly positive. He runs Melbourne's best restaurants – just ask his staff and patrons."
Of course, if Andrew McConnell was actually pure Melbourne, he would deliver 14 welcomes to country between each course and his restaurants would be full of CFMEU bikies spending their kickbacks from the Suburban Rail Loop.
Here we get the most delicious insight into Andrews' staggering self-delusion, seemingly oblivious to the fact he's the most hated person in Victoria. How could he possibly believe that his endorsement would benefit anyone? It is arguable whether forced closure by the health department or a sighting of Dan Andrews would cause greater damage to the reputation of a restaurant. Apparently Ivan Milat always dreamed of making it to Gimlet, too, but at least he had enough self-awareness not to tell the newspapers.[[Milat subsequently died so cannot sue us for defamation for comparing him to Dan Andrews]]
Funnily enough, McConnell is opening a new venue this winter at the former site of Becco on Crossley Street and calling it Cote Basque. That's uncannily similar to La Côte Basque, the famous New York society restaurant and the story of the same name which spelled the social suicide of its author Truman Capote. After its publication in 1975, Capote became America's most accomplished outcast. Perhaps every big city needs one?
Have a great Easter break.
Cheers, Joe
