Richard Goyder's own goals

The Murdoch family succession, settled on Tuesday, was nothing next to this. The conclave that elected Pope Leo XIV in May also pales by comparison. Melbourne is presently losing its mind over the torturous process to replace Australian Football League chairman Richard Goyder, who has finally been prevailed upon to abdicate the secular papacy of southern Australia. Melbourne had barely recovered from losing its mind over the tortured elevation of AFL chief executive Andrew Dillon in 2023 to succeed his predecessor Gillon McLachlan – tortured only because Goyder made it so.

Ten days ago, (muted) cries of grief rose from Docklands as Goyder advised his inner sanctum that he will retire in March when his fifth three-year term as an AFL commissioner expires. He had previously intended to seek re-election and stand down at some point during his sixth term, although it was plain to everyone else – even fans in the Q bays of the MCG through their cheap binoculars – that Goyder's support among the AFL clubs (who elect the AFL commissioners) is dead and gone.

Goyder did this at Qantas, too: humiliated himself unnecessarily by trying to cling on when everyone could see he was finished. Given the esteem in which he was widely held as the longstanding CEO of Wesfarmers, it is genuinely confounding how inadequate he has turned out to be as a professional director. One of the principal tasks of any chairman is to manage leadership succession, including their own. Instead, Goyder would've secured the Coleman medal for himself if own goals were included in the tally.